Friday, May 02, 2008

My confession I have been a bad mother...........

So I will confess. I have seen this scenario on Super Nanny more than a few times, but I have finally dealt with my situation. Since last fall Breanna has not slept by herself. She has slept with me every night since then. In the beginning I know that I did it more for me than for her, which was selfish, and wrong. I needed her with me more than she needed me with her. I should not have done it, but I did. She has been sleeping with us ever since.
A few weeks ago I decided that she should be sleeping in her own bed, and she should be able to put herself to sleep.

So tonight I called on everything that I have learned from watching Super Nanny.

Jo says, put them to bed, tell your child that you will be back in 2 minutes, no matter what they do don't go back until the 2 minutes is over, then stretch it to 5 minutes, then 10, then 20, and so on until they are asleep. This insures them that you are still there even though they are not in the same room as you.

So I did this tonight. Jay and JJ were sleeping. Breanna needed to go to bed. So I went and put her in her own bed, she screamed and screamed. Then she said something that just BROKE MY HEART!!!! Earlier in the evening she had decided since mommy's hair was in a pony-tail that it would be fun to pull mommy's hair. So when I put her in her own bed she said "Mommy, I go with you, I don't pull your hair" uggghhh talk about pulling at the heart strings.

I stood my ground. I told her that she was in her own bed, not because she had pulled mommy's hair, but because she was a big girl and big girls slept in their own rooms. She cried and cried. I went back 5 minutes later and told her that I loved her and was so proud that she was being such a big girl and staying in her bed (even though at that point she wasn't, I just laid her back in her bed) . I went back in 10 minutes and she was still in her bed, and at 20 minutes she was still there too. I think she gets it now. Thanks Super Nanny!! In the matter of an hour I had my baby sleeping in her own room, and thinking that it was a good thing. Mommy wasn't mad at her, and that she was a big girl for sleeping in her own room.

So that is it. I have been a bad mommy, I was selfish and was letting her keep me company, but I have done the right thing and have let her go. Be a little more independent and let her know that mommy is still here, but she needs to sleep in her own bed.

3 people showing some love:

Ellen and Sharon said...

Oh, Amanda, bless your heart! Yes, you absolutely did the right thing. And, NO, you are not a bad mommy.

Nichole said...

I agree with my mom, your not a bad mama. I think it takes a wonderful mother to be able to step aside and do whats best for the kiddos and not give in. You did great. I always wondered if many parents took away what they see on Supernanny and i guess, yes! They do! Good for you!

Heather said...

OH, girl...I know what you mean here...Zoie sleeps with me because we don't have room for anything otherwise...when I have to do what you did, it's going to be tough, but that's how motherhood is!